The slaying of demons and other important guidelines

This is a simple and practical guide to prevent violence against women – and thus, a guide to the slaying of demons, amongst other things. Being a firm believer in equality, I believe that both men and women play an equal role here. And this being the festival season (in India), I also believe there is much wisdom in our traditions and myths that we can learn from what we are celebrating right now. As Ram – the manifestation of the perfect masculine defeats the ten headed demon king and Durga – the manifestation of the ultimate feminine conquers and kills the buffalo headed demon, read on as to what we lesser men and women can learn from their stories.

Ladies first:

1.    Choose your associations with care: The Goddess is incomparably beautiful, but she is known more for her ten armed prowess, her riding of a lion or for her power. Since we do not possess Her beauty, I do insist that we take care of what we have. Do buying the new CC cream if you must. And if you are fully committed to contributing to the wealth of BB, CC and DD cream makers (I have it on good authority that there is a DD cream being readied for the market.) But do not let this deter you from being known more for your intellect and strength. Be beautiful, yes. But be also powerful.  Or actually, be powerful. And also beautiful.

2.     Learn to be independently mobile: All those centuries ago, in spite of having her nose cut off, Surpanakha made it back to Sri Lanka from the jungles of Central India. Sita didn’t know even the jungles she lived in, so she couldn’t be left alone even in her own home. And once abducted,  had to wait about for her husband to come rescue her. And of course we know what happened to Sita after she was rescued by her husband. So, get out the maps, get that driving license and learn some good, soul satisfying swear words. Walk. Cycle. Buy your own tickets. Travel your own road.

3.     Learn to negotiate: Look how Kaikeyi stored away her boon and at what time of strategic importance she put it out on the table. No, I am not advising that we become heartless like Kaikeyi (though that is only public opinion – I do not think she was heartless – she only wanted the best for her child.) but I am advising that we stop  willingly sacrificing ourselves to all and sundry. Self-sacrifice is detrimental to self-esteem. In case you are having doubts, return to Sita’s story.

4.     Make peace with your mother: She’s most often your safest refuge. Sita did and she got to go back home when she’d had enough. Draupadi wasn’t so sagacious and she had to satisfy herself with a rather bloodied revenge.

5.     Do not be afraid of destruction: Durga is the Mother Goddess, but in all her 10 arms, she carries a symbol of destruction. And each of us who is willing to admit, we all know that mothering involves immense discipline and hardness of heart. And so does being a woman. So don’t be fooled into believing being a woman is only about nurturing and caring. Your demons are meant to be cared for. They are meant to be slayed. So if they pay you a visit, slay them. Don’t dither. Don’t whine. Do not procrastinate. Slay.

And now for the gentlemen:

1.     Apply the Lakshman Rekha to self: Keep a check on yourself. Only demons stand outside the limits of greed and want. It has been said that if it had been Lehman Sisters the global economy would have been different today.

2.     Set better examples of masculinity: For example, find a better way of saying ‘no’. If you cut off noses of women who express their desire for you - they will stop desiring you and worse, may decide to do the very same to you when you express your desire for them. You can decide which one is worse. I am a little confused by now.

3.     Work hard, very hard: Money and a fast car aren’t going to slay your demons. You will need the power of Durga to do so. But each of you will have to call forth your own Durga. And do remember even the gods had to enter into deep, universe stopping meditation to bring forth a Durga powerful enough to kill Mahishasura.  So get down to some serious work. And for each of us who is willing to admit, the soul is a harder taskmaster than the bank balance.

4.     Refrain from long absences: Follow your dharma and stick around to do what you are meant to do. Do not wander about in jungles and leave your subjects/wives/parents/children/kingdoms in the lurch. If you are a king, then rule. Do not listen to step mothers or worse, do not gamble. We all know what happens when you do.

5.     Skip the ego trip: I cannot stress the importance of this one. Just as I could not find a single character in these myths that did not take this trip. Perhaps you could be the first one to break the stereotype. Not a bad idea, that one. Who knows, 3000 years later, you could be at the centre of a Very Different Epic. A little bit of waiting yes, but worth it.

The author of this blog is convinced that by following such simple measures, women will be happier women and men happier men. And the the world will no longer be welcoming to any demons - in your mind or mine.