I have often been told I look a lot like my father. Of late, I think I am becoming more like my father in some habits. Like going through the newspaper headlines in the morning as dismissing everyone and everything with "Ghora'r dim. Bunch of idiots." (Apologies, but an English translation of these two Bengali words is beyond my capacity) But having added to the Gupta genes with a few decades of social change and rural development, I cannot be so dismissive, though I am so often tempted to be. So I will explain myself. Patiently.
In the true traditions of my family, I always have A Theory. This one is on the process of social change. And this is:
“We have forgotten to ask the correct questions.” And in the true tradition of my
family, I am tempted to dismiss everyone else except us as having any clue to
effective questioning, but we no longer live in times of good old harmless
adda. Today, everyone has a question, never mind that the question is irrelevant.
Like Alice’s, when she asks the Cheshire Cat which is the way. The Cheshire Cat
asks her if she knows where she is going. Alice replies she does not. The
Cheshire Cat very helpfully tells her that if she does not know where she is
going then the choice of road does not matter – any road will get her there.
The idea is to first want to know where to go.
To help you along this line of thinking, please find
outlined below a few examples. Do not complain about me being high handed. This
is decidedly less hazardous than a Sunday morning discussion between my
father’s brothers and their families. So here goes……
1.
Circumstance: A man enters an ATM while a lady
is using it. He proceeds to rob her, and then to assault her in the most brutal
manner.
Questions posed by media: Why did the security system of the
banks fail? What are the lapses in such systems? Why are banks not more
careful?
Questions that should have been asked: Why did the control
of the assaulting man fail? What were the lapses in his sanity? Why are men not
more careful?
2.
Circumstance: A young female employee accuses
her influential, established boss of sexual harassment.
Question asked by influential, established politician: Why
employ female staff? They would always bring with them the accusations of
sexual harassment.
Question that should have been asked: Why employ men?
3.
Circumstance: The Supreme Court withholds its
potential to give its support to the rights of homosexual people.
Questions asked: Is the Supreme Court not pushing us back to
the middle ages?
Questions that I wanted to ask: The Middle Ages for India
was actually a good time. Good emperors and no wars and all that. The Middle
Ages were regressive only in Europe. And once you have got your history right,
and still want to follow Europe, there’s a lot more you would need to do,
besides diversity. May I suggest that we start with driving and road rules?
4.
Circumstance: An Indian diplomat is caught in an
uncomfortable spotlight for her treatment of her domestic help.
Questions in an ear numbing debate on TV: How could the US
do this to a diplomat?
Questions I want to ask: Why, in a country where domestic
help (the way we Indians know it) is practically non existent, would you want
to take along from your homeland one person as your servant? And worse, - is
this domestic help is being paid with the money I give as tax?
A very dear friend of mine had a favourite reply to
uncomfortable questions. When asked one such question, she would raise an
eyebrow, look virtuous and decimate you with her answer, “Ask me no questions,
and I’ll tell you no lies.” Very relevant, don’t you think? With the asking of
a question also comes the responsibility of dealing with the answer. Which is
possibly the reason none of us ever ask others,“Am I a bore?” Which may also be
the reason that we shirk from asking the real questions.
Maybe we should start risking the replies and asking the
questions anyway. Even though we may, deep down, already know the answers. Like
the answer to my questions on the use of my tax money. Sigh.
