A
young Indian film maker, known for his angst driven and violence ridden films
has made a short film on violence against women. This film, set in what is
possibly meant to be a typical urban space shows what is possibly meant to be,
or at least the film maker assumes to be the typical violence women face.
Very
briefly, the film shows two young women, both preparing to go to work being
lectured to by their family not do so. In the background ghastly instances of
rape and violence against women are being played out. The 2 women meet, collect
a third woman friend and leave their housing compound only to be met with more
harassment, both verbal and physical by a bunch of goons hanging about near the
gate. One of the girls gets caught up in the harassment while the other 2
escape. The two escapees get on to a bus where they are again subject to abuse
by a loutish co passenger. One of the girls decides to hit him below the belt
and the man meekly leaves them alone after being winded. The girl left behind
reaches her office where she appears to be the only girl again subject to all
the unwanted and ugly attentions of the men in her office.
The
girls meet in the evening and share how one of them hit one of the men in the
bus. They seem to find it interesting. The next scene shows them at a self
defence class. It is already dark and the shirt clad, cigarette smoking female
self defence instructor tells the girls she will escort them home. And they
should call her once they reach their flats. On the way they are waylaid by the
first set of goons and finally decide to hit back, with their instructor
standing on the fringes and looking on impassively. A crowd collects to see the
3 girls fighting back but no one helps them. Or even says anything.
The
next shot shows the brother of one of the girls making tea for a change and
telling his sister that he had been thinking of giving these boys a beating and
he was very glad that she had done it. The End.
Having
been subjected to all 24 minutes of this film, I felt very very sorry for the
director. And very upset about how society has failed him. And how, as a
feminist, we have failed to reach out to the young leaders of our country. And
so I have decided to write him a letter to console him that all is not lost –
he is young, he may still find the Truth. Here is the letter:
“Dear
Anurag,
I
take the liberty of addressing you thus because of your age. If I had a son, he
would have been your age. But if I had a son, he would have probably been more
sensitive to a few issues that I’d like to talk to you about. My daughters are.
I
guess you have understood by now that I am not talking about the Gangs of
Wasseypur. Now about this short film genre that you have decided to venture
into, I would like to point out a few things and give you some advice.
1. 1. Your teachers have failed you. I see they
have not been very successful in convincing you about one of the fundamentals
of communication. And this is to be successful in conveying the one single core
message very clearly. In spite of 2 decades of work on women’s rights I stand
completely confused after seeing this film. What was your point, young man?
What did you want your audience to understand? This remains as dark as the feel
of your film.
2. 2. You have also not been taught to do
any research! This is an unforgiveable lapse in your higher studies. And so, you
have also not been talking to anyone about men and women. And therefore your
film shows this unidimensional, stereotypical paradigm of ugly men and unhappy
women living in a relentlessly dark world. You poor child! In the world that we
inhabit, Anurag, we do many more things. If you had spoken to some women who
survived violence, you would find that they tend to have energy, determination,
- a sense of purpose. And they are tough. That’s why they are called survivors.
If you had broken a few stereotypes yourself, you would have been able to
portray the high that comes from winning a battle fought without guns and
armies – the high that most survivors will invariably project. And oh, these
women laugh, alright? I met a woman in rural Bangladesh who keeps a length of
rope beneath her bed. It looks old and unused. When I asked her what it was,
she laughed out loud and told me that she kept it as a reminder of the days in
which she was contemplating suicide as she could not bear the abuse of her
husband. She would go around with this rope tucked into her saree surveying
which tree in her village would be the most suitable to die on. She then
realised that she was not the one who should go and decided to fight back. She
now lives a more peaceful life, but kept the rope to remind her how silly she
had once been. And this woman wasn’t giggling coyly. She had a laugh that could
be heard in the next mohalla.
3. 3. While you definitely haven’t understood
women, what I am saddened more about is your complete inability to understand your
own gender, young man. Such poor social skills in one so young. And that is
such a sad thing. I am trying to imagine how difficult it must be for you to go
about life seeing all men as wimps and/or perpetrators and having to accept
your self as one such. As we would say in Bengali, “Aha, ki koshto!” But if
your life would have been different, you would have known men as good fathers,
loving brothers, dutiful sons, understanding husbands and great friends.
Granted there aren’t too many of them around, but there are some. Why, with the
power of cinema in your hands would you choose to portray the very worst? Go
back to Point 1 – what was your point in the first place?
4. 4. Also, I see your life is very
restricted. For example, you have not met too many female self defence
instructors. The one I work with is furious with the one you have portrayed in
your short film. The lady I work with wears bright salwar suits, black nail polish, does her long hair in a French
braid, wears red lipstick, drives a fluorescent pink scooty, arrives at school
for her hour long session with her 3 year old child in tow and is always
smiling. Not only do her students want to be a black belt like their Ma’m, they
also want black nail polish and a pink scooty when they grow up.
5. 5. And further in this list of how we
have failed you is not being able to show you that violence can never be cured
with more violence. Have you ever seen our country go to war with any other
country? Even when we are pushed into a corner, we dither. In spite of a massive
sense of outrage that women feel when subjected to the numerous discriminations
and harassments, they know instinctively that slapping and kicking and punching
is not the final answer. It will help deal with an immediate circumstance of
possible violence, but what is needed to prevent and deal with violence against
women is dialogue, negotiations, solidarity, public awareness, building
alliances – all with some help from the law. And where unspeakable violence has
already happen, as it unfortunately does from time to time – the very strictest
and immediate punishments. Here I can add my own experience – as a woman I have
had my share of discrimination and violence and have often felt deeply
compelled to throw bricks at some men. But I have also always known that brick
throwing would never be adequate getting back at them. This doesn’t mean we are
a gentle, sweet, all forgiving lot. It just means we are tougher than you think
– Gandhi ji did get the British out, didn’t he?
6. 6. Further – in spite of the education
and exposure you have apparently had, you have also not understood the main
arena of violence faced by women – their own homes. What happens to these women
when the perpetrators are their own fathers, brothers, husbands? Would a well
timed kick help then? Would the impassive cigarette smoking instructor be
allowed in to their homes to stand by and observe?
7. 7. And then, coming to the crux of the
issue: like all fundamental and universal Truths, the Truth about violence
against women is also very simple. Unlike your belief, women do not face
violence because they do not protest
against it. Women face violence because every social institution and
relationship - including you and me - sanctions this violence. And hence, repeating these sanctions, as
your film does, will not stop violence against women. To quote a favourite feminist
quote of mine, “You cannot break the masters house with the master’s tools.” The
only way to do so is to build new tools, build new relationships, explore
alternatives, create role models, learn new ways of doing things together –
build new systems and institutions of strength, support and solidarity. Hundreds
and thousands of people – both men and women are doing so. Why haven’t you been
able to keep up with things? And while we are on the subject, why haven’t you
read any feminist literature before making this film? Point #2 again…..
As
someone who is very concerned about the quality of the next generation (having
contributed 2 individuals to it myself) I shall be very happy indeed to help
you out with all these problems that you face. As the generation signing out on
the register, it is my duty to do so. I also have a deep and abiding faith in
the next generation’s ability to build a more equal world than ours. So I am
sure you will do your bit. Do not agonise about the past. The future is still
yours for the taking. All you have to do is work a little harder.
You can start with seeing the film Phata Poster Nikla Hero. Yes, yes, I know that may be below what you assume your intellectual status to be. But the mother's role int he film can be of serious educative value to you. See it. You might also benefit from the singing and dancing.....
Till
then, I remain,
Sincerely
yours,
MG
