“The safest road to Hell is the gradual one – the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts……..” Though Mr. Lewis may not have intended so, it is a statement of eerie significance to the institution of Patriarchy (in keeping with present day explanation techniques, here is the Google link to Patriarchy _ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patriarchy) One of the reasons that Feminists have had great difficulty in walking their own road is that it is so difficult to articulate that we are walking on the wrong road to start with. There are no milestones that say “Discrimination crossed, violation 3 km ahead.” Or no signposts that say, “Steep abuse ahead, use bypass, ” or “Equality under construction, inconvenience is regretted.” Or even, “Men at work, go slow.”
Hauling ourselves out of this Subjugation Road has not been an easy task. We still haven’t succeeded. And from time to time we arrive at a State of Crisis. Usually this means that like the Queen in Alice in Wonderland, us feminists are have to run very hard to remain in the same place. Worse, from time to time we slip backwards.
As the world seems to unspool itself into a myriad unforeseen and untoward roads in this last decade or so, we Feminists are as confused and confounded as others. As a country on the other side of the world prepares for its new leader, along with so many others, Feminists are unable to shake off that sense of foreboding. (Technically – the Pacific Ocean is on the other side of the world but it is presently not throwing up complications of feminist ideology.) While much is happening in the amazing United States, this post will focus on one aspect that its immediate circumstances has thrown up – that of the women we are seeing. Why the US, you may ask. And this is because the West and the US specially have led feminist thought and action and for long the east has looked admiringly and hopefully to this land of shining freedom. But there now appear patches of rust and the brightness somewhat dulled and we feminists are hard put to run even faster, and faster, and….
So the women then and how they make us run faster –
Michelle Obama: Some time ago, a post on social media on the Obamas went viral – one where the Obamas went out for a private dinner and Michelle Obama found that the owner of the restaurant was an admirer of hers from a long time ago. Barack Obama joked that if she had married the restauranteur instead of Barack, Michelle would be a hotel owner’s wife? Michelle replied, no, the hotel owner would have been the President of the US.
To my deepest disappointment, she did not reply that if she had not married Barack, she herself would have been the President of the United States. And so, pushing aside her obvious potential to lead, Michelle Obama firmly placed women as secondary to men - she clearly stated that women could only be wives. And as she moves on, with grace and dignity no doubt, she leaves behind yet another generation of her country women who will not aspire to be President. They will aspire to be wives, mothers, social workers. They will aspire to dress well, speak well, be a good hostess, be charming, well read, intelligent, well educated. And become wives to presidents.
And so the adulation of Michelle Obama on this statement marked yet another gentle, milestone less mile along Subjugation Road. And the narrow, unpredictable, violence spattered road women are running on, shrunk yet a little more and we kept running…
But wait! There is actually a woman in the US who wants to be President. The funny thing is, she also made us run.
Hilary Clinton then: 1999 and the United States faced its second, unbelievable presidential impeachment process (after Andrew Johnson’s in 1868) initiated by sexual misconduct and abuse of power by the President himself. Involving harassment and exploitation of a 20 year old White House intern, (the President was himself 53 years old at that time) the circumstance left the country and the world stunned. Disgraced, impeached and bringing the issue of sexual harassment at the workplace to a new low, the President left the White House, his silent, stoic wife and young daughter grimly by his side.
And that is where Hilary Clinton stayed - stoic and silent by a husband who betrayed her trust in the most public manner possible. And as she stood by him, we ran faster and faster, desperately afraid that if she won the race for presidency, a generation of women living in discrimination and violence would slip off this slippery road we ran on – back, back into the relationships that belittled and stunted them. And bend them a little more with the burden of what society handed to them - that the acceptance of violence and discrimination is the only road available to them. Once again, a woman with obvious potential, with access to the best resources the country could provide, Hilary chose to put all of this to work only to fit into the box and a white pant suit.
And now for the woman who will actually occupy the White House from next month – Melania Trump. An immigrant model who came to America as thousands have over the years, she did what the other thousands had done – she chose the easier road. And became a mute bystander to a husband who spoke openly and belittled her roots of being an immigrant and a model. While she is yet to enter the White House, it will be only a miracle if she changes this role.
Each of the above ladies – all powerful and influential in their own right, could have changed the world for women. Instead they seem to send out the same message – that women are secondary to men. That women must accept that men have more power. That women must accept that men will abuse. That women must accept that she cannot protest. And in sending out this message, each of them have contributed to making the world an uglier place, to making homes and relationships unequal and dangerous. And when women in powerful positions send out such messages, it means A Lot of Running for us. One would think with all this exercise the least us feminists could achieve was an incredible level of fitness and health. But even that doesn’t seem to be happening.
In the America of my dreams, Michelle La Vaughn Robinson would be President. Monica Lewinsky (the only one of the women mentioned above who dared to take on an American President – and won) and Hilary Rodham would evolve into leading feminist activists and lead path breaking gender policies in the country. And Melania Knauss would be a billionaire model and entrepreneur in her own right. They could be partners in fulfilling relationships, caring and proud parents, but each would have walked their own paths. And we could slow down a bit and catch our breath and maybe a cup of tea. But these are dreams. Presently we are too busy running to dream. And if we are not running, we are planning and preparing for a march. And desperately hoping something works…
Hauling ourselves out of this Subjugation Road has not been an easy task. We still haven’t succeeded. And from time to time we arrive at a State of Crisis. Usually this means that like the Queen in Alice in Wonderland, us feminists are have to run very hard to remain in the same place. Worse, from time to time we slip backwards.
As the world seems to unspool itself into a myriad unforeseen and untoward roads in this last decade or so, we Feminists are as confused and confounded as others. As a country on the other side of the world prepares for its new leader, along with so many others, Feminists are unable to shake off that sense of foreboding. (Technically – the Pacific Ocean is on the other side of the world but it is presently not throwing up complications of feminist ideology.) While much is happening in the amazing United States, this post will focus on one aspect that its immediate circumstances has thrown up – that of the women we are seeing. Why the US, you may ask. And this is because the West and the US specially have led feminist thought and action and for long the east has looked admiringly and hopefully to this land of shining freedom. But there now appear patches of rust and the brightness somewhat dulled and we feminists are hard put to run even faster, and faster, and….
So the women then and how they make us run faster –
Michelle Obama: Some time ago, a post on social media on the Obamas went viral – one where the Obamas went out for a private dinner and Michelle Obama found that the owner of the restaurant was an admirer of hers from a long time ago. Barack Obama joked that if she had married the restauranteur instead of Barack, Michelle would be a hotel owner’s wife? Michelle replied, no, the hotel owner would have been the President of the US.
To my deepest disappointment, she did not reply that if she had not married Barack, she herself would have been the President of the United States. And so, pushing aside her obvious potential to lead, Michelle Obama firmly placed women as secondary to men - she clearly stated that women could only be wives. And as she moves on, with grace and dignity no doubt, she leaves behind yet another generation of her country women who will not aspire to be President. They will aspire to be wives, mothers, social workers. They will aspire to dress well, speak well, be a good hostess, be charming, well read, intelligent, well educated. And become wives to presidents.
And so the adulation of Michelle Obama on this statement marked yet another gentle, milestone less mile along Subjugation Road. And the narrow, unpredictable, violence spattered road women are running on, shrunk yet a little more and we kept running…
But wait! There is actually a woman in the US who wants to be President. The funny thing is, she also made us run.
Hilary Clinton then: 1999 and the United States faced its second, unbelievable presidential impeachment process (after Andrew Johnson’s in 1868) initiated by sexual misconduct and abuse of power by the President himself. Involving harassment and exploitation of a 20 year old White House intern, (the President was himself 53 years old at that time) the circumstance left the country and the world stunned. Disgraced, impeached and bringing the issue of sexual harassment at the workplace to a new low, the President left the White House, his silent, stoic wife and young daughter grimly by his side.
And that is where Hilary Clinton stayed - stoic and silent by a husband who betrayed her trust in the most public manner possible. And as she stood by him, we ran faster and faster, desperately afraid that if she won the race for presidency, a generation of women living in discrimination and violence would slip off this slippery road we ran on – back, back into the relationships that belittled and stunted them. And bend them a little more with the burden of what society handed to them - that the acceptance of violence and discrimination is the only road available to them. Once again, a woman with obvious potential, with access to the best resources the country could provide, Hilary chose to put all of this to work only to fit into the box and a white pant suit.
And now for the woman who will actually occupy the White House from next month – Melania Trump. An immigrant model who came to America as thousands have over the years, she did what the other thousands had done – she chose the easier road. And became a mute bystander to a husband who spoke openly and belittled her roots of being an immigrant and a model. While she is yet to enter the White House, it will be only a miracle if she changes this role.
Each of the above ladies – all powerful and influential in their own right, could have changed the world for women. Instead they seem to send out the same message – that women are secondary to men. That women must accept that men have more power. That women must accept that men will abuse. That women must accept that she cannot protest. And in sending out this message, each of them have contributed to making the world an uglier place, to making homes and relationships unequal and dangerous. And when women in powerful positions send out such messages, it means A Lot of Running for us. One would think with all this exercise the least us feminists could achieve was an incredible level of fitness and health. But even that doesn’t seem to be happening.
In the America of my dreams, Michelle La Vaughn Robinson would be President. Monica Lewinsky (the only one of the women mentioned above who dared to take on an American President – and won) and Hilary Rodham would evolve into leading feminist activists and lead path breaking gender policies in the country. And Melania Knauss would be a billionaire model and entrepreneur in her own right. They could be partners in fulfilling relationships, caring and proud parents, but each would have walked their own paths. And we could slow down a bit and catch our breath and maybe a cup of tea. But these are dreams. Presently we are too busy running to dream. And if we are not running, we are planning and preparing for a march. And desperately hoping something works…
