Maybe.

I have a small, select list of the compliments that I have received that have meant  a lot to me. Of these, some are related to my being a mother. One of them was made observing how both my daughters were growing up to be happy and well balanced children – that I was The One With A Golden Womb – “Shwarnagarbha” in Bengali. And the second was made during an intense discussion on parenting when some of my younger friends told me that I wore my motherhood like a medal of honour. I still treasure both compliments.  And I am a very hands on and proud mother. My children stand at the centre of my life.

And yet, I have always been conscious of the impact and influence of motherhood on my sense of womanhood. Over the years of my work with women’s rights and my own experience of motherhood, I have seen the immense anguish, angst and trauma that the concept of motherhood creates in our lives. And this is true for those of us who have had to give birth when they do not wish to, those of us who have given birth under luckier circumstances, those of us who cannot give birth, those of us who have not been able to give birth and those of us who do not wish to give birth. And all of us are real living women. And in meeting them, I have often felt maybe we have walked down the wrong road. Maybe if we had taken another road –

Maybe our existing concept of womanhood based on motherhood is incomplete.

Maybe the physical act of giving birth was only one of the hundreds of creative and life giving tasks that women were able to perform.

Maybe we were to learn from this act of giving birth to our children our other natural abilities –to create, to breathe life into, to nurture, to be fearless in the face of death, to have courage, determination, stamina, joy, the ability to withstand pain and loss, to be naturally and immensely creative and powerful.

Maybe we were to bring this power to our minds and our souls also.

Maybe the one million ova that every female child is born with was symbolic of every woman’s ability to create – to bring to life many things in our bodies, souls and minds.

Maybe our ancient cultures, those that were closer to nature, understood instinctively this innate power of women to create – to make fertile all that came her way – her womb, her home, her people, the earth, the ideas, the skills. And hence our first gods were goddesses.

Maybe in those ancient days, when our sisters of long ago lived with the full power of the feminine, our menstrual cycles were days of joy and celebration and sharing with the world – I am alive! I can create! I bear life breath! I am powerful!

Maybe we were really ten armed and ten headed.

Maybe over the years, we began to disregard our power over all other creations of the mind and soul and chose to create only with our bodies.

Maybe in doing so, our goddesses were turned into stone. Or into idols made of the earth we forgot to make fertile.

Maybe much of our troubles today arise from this limiting of our womanhood to the fertility of the body only – however unforgettable, precious and life changing the experience of child birth and parenting is.

Maybe in our obsession with the fertility of our bodies, our minds and souls lie fallow, untended and infertile, releasing their poisons into those very bodies that house the children of tomorrow.

Maybe in doing so we have given up our powers that were once naturally ours – and worse – divided ourselves against those of us who cannot or do not wish to have children.
Maybe in our uni dimensional focus on our body's creative potential, we have slowly forgotten to create and nurture ideas, skills, relationships.

Maybe we have all – including every generation of children that we are so proud to have borne, paid an incalculable price for having linked our woman hood to our bodies only.  

Maybe many of us reading this already know this to be true.

Maybe we should now start teaching every female child as she grows up – that your existence is the partnership of a triumvirate – your body, your mind and your soul. All three are equal in their ability and potential to give birth – to a child, to an idea, to a relationship. And all are equally valuable to humanity.

And then maybe we would see all women as equal, as they truly are. And only once we see ourselves as complete and equal can we hope for any real equality with the rest of the world.